Choosing to forgive infidelity

choosing to forgive infidelity

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet releases, when the shoe that crushed it is lifted, said decades ago the American writer and adventurer, Mark Twain , and with the phrase he sentenced the superiority of those who, despite knowing they are offended, offer the best of yes as a sign of indulgence that will never be the same as indifference. For the record, I do not believe in the peace of someone who always offers the other cheek, but in that of someone who learns the lessons that life gives us through tears, but keeps a heart clean of hatred and the desire for revenge. It is not about walking the world with the vocation of a saint, but about discovering that forgiving is one of the ways that helps to be happy.

It is not the same to forgive as to justify or excuse . It is not reconciliation because you can forgive your partner or friend who has been unfaithful and never return to the starting point. Nor is it forgetfulness. Forgiveness is a response, above all moral, that allows us to move forward for our own good. It is like remembering the cold of winter, but without tremors because spring has arrived.

Forgiveness is a complex process, which does not erase what was wrongly done or reduce the offender’s responsibility . It is a show of good will and at the same time it is a way to remedy the sadness that accompanies us when we have been insulted. A Dominican friar defined it well: “Do you want to be happy for a moment? Take revenge. Do you want to be happy all your life? Excuse me.”

Forgiveness or revenge against infidelity?

When we have been outraged, the most frequent response is to feel anger and according to the studies of the American psychiatrist, Richard Fitzgibbon, the basic ways to deal with this feeling is to deny it, express it in a sly way pretending that we are not offended , or forgive and the latter is the one that most quickly relieves the sufferer.

The path of forgiveness is usually undermined by the desire for revenge against infidelity, but Dr. Fitzgibbon himself and other psychiatrists and psychologists, have systematized four therapeutic steps that have reported excellent results and that now I leave you here in case you need them to face the many moments in life in which we find ourselves at the crossroads of forgiving or charging an eye for an eye being an unfaithful woman .

1Confront the inner rage, the shame, the hurt. Many times the cause of these feelings remains hidden for hours, days and even years and prevents us from understanding conflicts and acting accordingly.

2Recognize the cause of the injury , and discover why it hurts.

3Of all the possible options, consciously choose to forgive , displacing anger and revenge as non-viable options, not out of altruism, but out of self-preservation.

4Trying to explain the behavior of that person who has wronged us, has betrayed us . When we do, we usually discover that he is vulnerable, even more in need of help than we are.

Current or past infidelity . Infidelity is a difficult phenomenon to manage and that is why we continue to analyze it. We wonder what hurts more, a current infidelity or a past infidelity.

Reasons to forgive . Can infidelity be forgiven? This is one of the most difficult questions to answer, but we try it looking for reasons to forgive an infidelity.

How to confess an infidelity . Infidelity and everything that surrounds it continues to arouse our curiosity, always trying to solve any problem in the couple. We wonder how to decide whether to confess to infidelity.

When it prescribes an infidelity . Crimes prescribe after a while, but infidelity is not a crime, at least in this part of the world. We wonder when infidelity is prescribed in time, when it ceases to be an active deception.

When an infidelity is good . It is quite clear that infidelity is the biggest reason for rupture, but in isolated cases it can serve as a lifeline for the couple. When an infidelity can save you from breaking up.

8 reasons not to forgive . Each person is very free to choose to forgive their partner for mistakes made, but we have many reasons not to forgive an infidelity.

Things worse than infidelity . Infidelity is not the worst thing that can happen to you in a relationship and it can be taken in a thousand ways. There are other things that cause more problems, there are worse things than infidelity in the couple.

The infidelity that strengthens . One of the most common reasons for breaking up a couple is infidelity, but sometimes it also serves to unite more. We wonder if infidelity can strengthen a relationship.

Guide to turn the page . Infidelity is one of those relationship problems that can end the relationship, although you can also forgive it. We have the definitive guide to forgive an infidelity.

Pros and cons of confessing . Being unfaithful is not the same as being unfaithful, but sometimes you have to acknowledge the situation. We analyze the pros and cons of confessing an infidelity as a couple.

Trust and infidelity . That your boyfriend cheats on you implies the loss of trust in him and even in love. We are wondering if after that infidelity confidence can be fully restored.

Curiosities of infidelity . Infidelity is one of the topics that interests us most in relationships, so we continue to investigate why we cheat or why we cheat. We discovered 6 curiosities about infidelity.

Ideas to be forgiven . Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend knows for sure that you have cheated on him with someone else, but you don’t want to end your relationship. We have some ideas for your boyfriend to forgive you for an infidelity.

Cheating and infidelity . Infidelity hovers over relationships because monogamy is hard to bear. If you’ve cheated on him, we’ll tell you if you should confess your infidelity or not.

What you did not know about being unfaithful . Infidelity still presents many doubts and many myths circulate about this matter. We clarify the affairs of the infidels and make things clear about infidelity.

How to recognize infidelity . In principle, an infidelity should not be discovered by your partner, but sometimes plans fail. Discover how to recognize an infidelity to your pa

Written by Giorgia Stromeo

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