Imagine being on the brink of an orgasm, the tension building, and then deliberately pausing. This practice, known as edging might seem counterintuitive, but it’s gaining popularity for its ability to enhance sexual pleasure. Board-certified sexologist Angie Rowntree and Carol Queen, PhD resident sexologist at Good Vibrations share their insights on this fascinating technique.
Understanding Edging
Edging involves bringing yourself or your partner to the edge of orgasm and then backing off, repeating this cycle until you choose to climax. It’s a practice that can be done solo or with a partner, and it’s not about endurance but about savoring the journey. Rowntree describes it as a mindful erotic journey rather than a quick destination.
The key to edging is recognizing the orgasmic inevitability the point where an orgasm is unavoidable. Queen explains that it’s about disrupting this inevitability by stopping or changing stimulation until the urge to orgasm subsides. This process can be repeated several times before allowing oneself to climax.
Why People Enjoy Edging
Edging appeals to many because it extends the time spent in a state of high arousal. Queen notes that it builds up arousal further and extends the erotic experience. For some, this prolonged anticipation can lead to a more intense orgasm. However, it’s not for everyone. Some might find the delay frustrating, and that’s perfectly okay.
Benefits of Edging
Beyond the potential for more intense orgasms, edging offers several benefits. It can help you become more aware of your body’s arousal patterns and signals. Rowntree suggests that it may also help build stamina and ejaculatory control over time. Additionally, edging encourages mindfulness, keeping the focus on pleasure rather than rushing toward orgasm.
Queen highlights that edging can help normalize the experience of pleasure. It’s a practice that requires you to pay attention to your body and enjoy the process. However, Rowntree cautions that edging is not a magic fix for premature ejaculation. It’s a tool that can help, but it requires practice.
How to Try Edging
If you’re new to edging, both experts recommend starting solo. It’s easier to learn your body’s signals when you’re not distracted by a partner. Rowntree suggests slowing down or stopping stimulation as you approach the point of no return. Give your arousal a chance to drop slightly, then build it back up again. Repeat this cycle a few times before allowing yourself to orgasm.
Once you’re comfortable with edging solo, you can try it with a partner. Communication is key. Rowntree emphasizes the importance of trust, clear consent, and real-time feedback. Your partner can’t read your mind, so you’ll need to tell them when you’re getting close enough to back off.
Remember, if you accidentally climax before you meant to, it’s not a failure. Rowntree assures that it’s all part of the fun. The goal is to enjoy the process, not to win a race.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
The biggest mistake is treating edging like a challenge. It’s not about pushing too hard too soon. Rowntree advises against backing off so much that you lose your arousal entirely. Instead, slow down or change the stimulation. Queen cautions against getting so focused on controlling your orgasm that you forget to enjoy yourself.
Don’t get frustrated if your body doesn’t follow the plan. You might orgasm earlier than intended, struggle to stay aroused, or discover that delaying orgasm simply isn’t your thing. Edging is supposed to make sex more pleasurable, not give you another performance metric to obsess over.
Does Edging Make Orgasms Better?
Maybe! Plenty of people find that all that buildup leads to a stronger or more intense orgasm. However, Rowntree clarifies that edging orgasms are not inherently ‘better’ than quick orgasms. All orgasms are worth celebrating, and different strokes work for different folks. Queen notes that not everyone enjoys delaying climax, and Rowntree adds that some people find the denial more frustrating than pleasurable.
Ultimately, if edging makes sex hotter for you, great. If you’d rather simply have the orgasm that’s right there waiting for you? Also great. The most important thing is to enjoy the journey and find what works best for you.
