So, picture this: I’m at a birthday dinner for a mutual friend, seated next to a guy I barely know. We’re at this cute Mexican spot, and I’m feeling all kinds of celebratory. I lean in, curious as ever, and ask him about his life and work. You know, just your typical friendly chat. Then BAM! He hits me with the ultimate question: “So… what’s going on with you?” Suddenly, I’m hit by a wave of uncertainty. Can anyone else relate? 😅
The Weight of a Title
I took a deep breath and said, “Well, I retired last month.” And let me tell you, the shift in his expression was palpable. It was like I’d just revealed I’d turned into a pumpkin. I mean, come on! I spent years being a professor, leading initiatives that made a real difference in the lives of students and educators. Saying that title felt empowering, didn’t it? But in that moment, I felt like I’d vanished into thin air – like my entire identity was tied to that title, and without it, I was just… uninteresting.
Unpopular opinion: our titles can sometimes define us more than we realize. I loved saying, “I’m a professor,” because it meant I was making an impact, leading, and doing meaningful work. But when you walk away from that, it’s like losing a piece of yourself. Honestly, it’s a big wake-up call. 🥴
Retirement is liberating, right? No more alarms blaring at the crack of dawn, and yes to lazy mornings with your favorite book and a cup of coffee. But let’s be real, even those perks come with a sprinkle of existential confusion. It’s like you’re in this weird limbo. You’ve played a role for decades, and now it’s like someone pulled the curtain, but forgot to give you the script for what’s next.
Finding Your New Identity
Here’s the kicker: even though I might not have a title anymore, I’m realizing I don’t need one to feel validated. Sure, it’s nice to have that external affirmation, but the real challenge is learning how to validate ourselves. Think about it: when was the last time you celebrated a win without needing someone else to say, “I’m proud of you?” 🤔
We’ve been conditioned to seek validation from others, right? It’s like this endless cycle where we rely on those compliments and praises to feel worthy. But retirement shakes that foundation. Now it’s up to us to redefine our self-worth. Can you imagine waking up each day and celebrating the small joys, just because YOU deserve it? That’s the real goal!
For me, starting a retirement coaching business has been a game changer. It’s not just a way to support other women; it’s also a soft landing for me after years of structured work. I’m using everything I’ve learned to design programs and create impact in this new chapter. It’s brought back purpose, and I often find myself saying, “Thank God for my coaching business!” It’s like my lifeline. 💖
The Transformation Journey
And you know what else? I’m learning to be my own cheerleader. I’m tuning into my internal voice, and every day, it gets a little louder. I’ve stopped waiting for performance reviews or external pats on the back. Instead, I focus on what makes me happy, like picturing my future self at 80, totally grounded and unapologetically me. She’s the ultimate goal – living life without giving a second thought to what others might think. Who else feels that vibe? 🙌
Retirement isn’t just an ending; it’s a massive transformation. It’s about shedding the old and embracing the new. It’s like those cicadas that emerge after years underground – shedding their shell and growing wings. We’re all in this phase, trying to figure out who we are without the titles that once defined us. And trust me, it’s okay to feel awkward about it. You’re not alone! 🌱
If this resonates with you, I’ve created something special called “Who Am I Now?” It’s a simple worksheet designed to help you rediscover your essence beyond the titles. It takes just 10 minutes, but I promise your future self will thank you. So, how are you navigating this journey of self-discovery? Have you felt that tug of identity loss? Let’s chat about it!