In the realm of reality television, few shows offer the same comfort and escapism as House Hunters on HGTV. There’s something inherently satisfying about sipping your morning coffee while critiquing potential home buyers’ decisions. However, for those navigating life post-divorce, this seemingly innocent pastime can sometimes stir up unexpected emotions.
Instead of feeling relaxed and content, you might find yourself experiencing a sense of resentment. Thoughts like, “Why can’t I have that?” or “Why am I not there yet?” can creep in, making it difficult to appreciate your current situation. This is a common pitfall for many people rebuilding their lives after a divorce.
The danger of focusing on what we lack
Post-divorce life can often lead us down a path of comparison and envy. We might find ourselves thinking, “I should have a partner by now,” or “I should be as successful as my friends on social media.” These thoughts can be dangerous because they place the power to dictate our happiness outside of ourselves.
The Facebook and Instagram effect is a prime example of this. Seeing friends and acquaintances post pictures of their luxurious homes or exotic vacations can make us feel like we’re missing out. We forget to appreciate the abundance in our own lives, focusing instead on what we perceive as lacking.
The psychology of abundance
Embracing the psychology of abundance involves shifting our focus from what we don’t have to what we do. It’s about recognizing the riches in our current situation, even if it’s not what we initially envisioned. This shift in perspective can help decrease stress, anxiety, and feelings of jealousy or bitterness.
During my own divorce, I struggled with feelings of loss and uncertainty. One day, while flipping through an old literature book, I came across a quote by Rainer Maria Rilke that changed my perspective: “If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place.” This quote reminded me that the power to find abundance lies within me.
Practical steps to embrace abundance
To start thriving with what you have, consider the following steps:
Step 1: Acknowledge your perceived lack
Identify what you feel is missing in your life. For example, “I don’t have enough money for a down payment on a nice condo.” Acknowledging this feeling is the first step in addressing it.
Step 2: Consider the implications
Reverse your thinking and consider why your lack of something might actually be beneficial. For instance, “A nice condo would have high HOA fees, which would cut into my savings.” This perspective can help you appreciate your current situation more.
Step 3: Acknowledge what you do have
Make a habit of acknowledging the things you are grateful for. For example, “I have a cozy and affordable apartment that helps me stay within my budget.” Regularly practicing gratitude can help shift your focus from lack to abundance.
By following these steps, you can begin to appreciate the riches in your life and find happiness in your new chapter. Remember, you have enough, and you’re doing great with what you have. And yes, you can still enjoy watching House Hunters if you want to.
