Retirement planning often focuses on the financial aspects, but the emotional and identity-related questions are equally crucial. As you approach this new chapter, it’s essential to ask: Who will you be once your professional title is no longer part of your daily life?
After a long career as a research professor, I found that the financial side of retirement was well-supported, but the emotional and identity aspects required more personal exploration. My journey began with a simple, yet profound, discovery: a purple chair that became a symbol of my newfound freedom and creativity.
The Purple Chair: A Symbol of New Beginnings
In my late 40s, my marriage ended, and I moved into a new home with my two teenage daughters. This house was mine alone, and I embraced the opportunity to design it entirely to my taste. I even painted the exterior purple, a bold choice that reflected my newfound independence.
Upstairs, I created a cozy nook with a purple recliner where I would start my mornings with coffee, a candle, and my laptop. This ritual became a sanctuary for my writing, a passion I had long neglected. I began by writing stories from my childhood, and later, a novel about a woman in her early 50s navigating life after a significant career.
The 30-minute alarm I set each morning became a reminder of the time constraints I faced during my working years. This longing for more time to pursue my interests became a driving force behind my decision to retire.
Reconnecting with Your Childhood Passions
During my career, I often felt that my identity was solely defined by my roles as a mom and a professor. It’s a common experience for many women. The demands of work, family, and other responsibilities can overshadow personal interests and passions.
When my kids were in high school, I rediscovered my love for painting. I bought a canvas and some paint markers and spent nights creating art, accompanied by 70s Music. This activity brought me immense joy and reminded me of my favorite school days, particularly Thursdays, when we had art class.
The scented markers from my childhood—cherry, lemon, grape, cinnamon, and licorice—were more than just school supplies; they were clues to my passions. Reflecting on these memories can help you design a retirement that aligns with your true interests.
The Blueprint of a Fulfilling Retirement
An ordinary school week was designed to help children thrive, with a balance of learning, physical activity, creativity, and social interaction. This structure can serve as a blueprint for designing a fulfilling retirement.
Take a moment to reflect on an ordinary school week from when you were nine or ten. Consider what activities brought you joy and a sense of freedom. What were you curious about? What did you enjoy doing that felt like play rather than exercise? What creative outlets did you explore or wish you could?
Given a free hour, where would you go or what would you do? Which activities made you feel most alive? These memories can guide you in creating a retirement that is truly yours.
Designing a Life That’s Truly Yours
You may not yet have a clear picture of who your future self will be, and that’s okay. By reconnecting with the girl you once were, you can start to uncover the layers of your identity and design a life that fits the woman you’re becoming.
This journey of self-discovery is a gift that retirement offers. It’s an opportunity to start this new chapter from a place of self-awareness rather than a blank page.
If this exercise has brought back a part of yourself you want to explore further, consider joining the free five-day email series called Retiring Into Yourself. Each morning, you’ll receive a message with a quick story, a reflection to try, and a question to ponder.
Over the course of the week, you’ll explore what your job has given you beyond a paycheck, identify the parts of yourself that may have been crowded out, and recognize what energizes you and what drains you. You’ll also pick one small daily practice to make your days feel more your own.
By the end of the week, you’ll have a clearer sense of what you want to carry forward into your retirement and where to begin this exciting new journey.
Women who have started the series have shared memories of riding bikes for miles, sitting by a creek doing nothing, and hours of make-believe. These clues can lead you to a retirement filled with purpose and joy.
What did you love as a girl that might be a clue for how you want to spend your time in retirement? Share your thoughts and memories in the comments below.
