The holiday season often brings a flurry of expectations and traditions, particularly regarding decorating. As one drives home from Thanksgiving, the glowing Christmas trees in neighbors’ windows serve as a reminder of the season’s arrival. This can lead to feelings of decoration guilt. However, this year, a different approach may be worth considering.
When I first moved in with Harry, he suggested we forgo the Christmas tree altogether. Growing up in Soviet-era Bulgaria, he enjoyed the holiday but didn’t see the need for elaborate decorations. He posed a straightforward question: “Wouldn’t it be less stressful without all that?” Although I understood his perspective, my passion for holiday aesthetics convinced me otherwise. We decided to get a tree, and despite my less-than-perfect skills in stringing lights, Harry managed to perfect the display the next day. I felt a mix of admiration and embarrassment—this was a man who grew up without the concept of Santa Claus yet outshone me in holiday spirit.
Transforming holiday expectations
As a parent, my perspective on the holidays has transformed significantly. The focus shifted from mere aesthetics to creating lasting memories for our daughter, Margot. During our first tree shopping experience with a baby, I didn’t even consider the cost as I grabbed the largest fir that would fit in our living room. This impulsive decision led to a $400 tree, which still brings a chuckle. Instead of discouragement, this moment fueled my desire to create a festive atmosphere, even if it meant spending a bit more.
Balancing creativity and chaos
Each year, I am drawn to festive DIY projects, determined to personalize our celebrations. Last year, I attempted to create a garland from dried orange slices, only to end up with a charred mess. This served as a reminder that my efforts often fall short of a holiday ideal. Even with a modest tree, I felt a twinge of disappointment when I compared my decorating efforts to Harry’s effortless ability to create magic, such as labeling gifts as if they genuinely came from the North Pole.
Redefining what holiday spirit means
As autumn arrived this year, I anticipated the usual holiday guilt that often accompanies the season. Just when I believed I had resigned myself to inadequacy, a simple Instagram reel shifted my perspective. Created by Chelsea Fagan, the reel highlighted the distinction between festivity and decoration, resonating deeply with me. It was akin to discovering a hidden layer to an optical illusion—suddenly, I could see the true essence of the holidays.
While decorations like wreaths and twinkle lights are beautiful, they do not define the holiday spirit. Instead, it is the moments shared with loved ones that create cherished memories. For some families, the season is about unity and togetherness, while for others, it holds deeper spiritual significance. Each person’s celebration is unique, and that diversity enriches the holiday experience.
Celebrating the real magic
I continue to appreciate the aesthetics of holiday decorations; however, I refuse to let guilt overshadow the joy of the season. One of my fondest memories is decorating Margot’s second Christmas tree. She was just over a year old, filled with energy and excitement to help. The chaos of that day, filled with laughter and a bit of mess, stands out in my holiday recollections. I remember her tiny hands reaching for the ornaments, her baby curls bouncing as she climbed up to assist me. The lights may have been bright, but it was Margot’s enthusiasm that truly illuminated that moment.
The essence of the holiday season lies not in the decorations we put up but in the memories we create. Embracing the joy of the season without the burden of perfectionism allows for a more fulfilling experience. The true magic of the holidays resides in shared experiences, laughter, and love, rather than solely in the twinkling lights and ornaments that adorn our homes.
