Over the past several months, many individuals have navigated the complex waters of perimenopause. This phase of life presents unique challenges, including significant physical changes and unexpected reflections on the essentials of a fulfilling life. One family member humorously remarked, “I love you; I don’t love your bed sweat,” highlighting the overwhelming heat associated with night sweats. Beyond such moments of levity, this journey prompts a profound exploration of what brings genuine meaning to our lives.
As individuals transition away from their childbearing years, there is often a yearning to focus on experiences that elevate the spirit and nurture relationships. The proximity to significant life changes or a heightened awareness of mortality can compel a prioritization of joy. Contemplating what will be cherished in the years ahead raises questions about which moments will be looked back on with gratitude.
Rediscovering joy and connection
Recently, one individual reached out to her mother to discuss the pressing need to focus on what matters most. While preparing dinner, the mother recounted an insightful moment from a recent exercise class. The instructor emphasized, “Don’t fixate on your life span; focus instead on your health span and joy span.” This resonated deeply, suggesting that perhaps the body signals a gentle reminder to cherish one’s joy span.
In contrast to earlier years, which may have revolved around ambition and relentless striving, there is a growing appreciation for the value of slowing down and fully absorbing life’s moments. It’s about recognizing instances of warmth, contentment, and bliss, and making a conscious effort to cultivate more of these experiences.
Simple pleasures that uplift
Reflecting on what brings joy, a list of simple yet profound pleasures emerges:
- Sunlit autumn afternoons
- Bagels slathered with scallion cream cheese
- Watching movies while children snuggle close
- Reading in bed with a good book
- Enjoying humorous texts from teenagers
- Indulging in jacket potatoes
- Opening the petals of blooming roses
- Feeling the grassy waves at Storm King
- Embracing the word “peripatetic”
- Experiencing beautiful prose that takes one’s breath away
- Stumbling upon magical tricks that baffle
- Relishing a peaceful, deep night’s sleep
- Eating kettle-cooked chips
Every moment spent with children holds immeasurable value, enhanced by the joy brought by a beloved pet. Additionally, laughter sparked by memorable moments from shows or the joy of engaging with cherished friends adds to this richness.
Connecting with loved ones
During quarantine, a comforting routine of nightly calls with a parent developed. Living alone during such challenging times, the parent once shared, “The only person I’ve conversed with in person this month is the fish guy at the grocery store.” To combat loneliness, evening chats began, even if brief. These whimsical discussions covered everything from stunning cars to memorable sailing trips, fostering heartfelt exchanges.
These conversations became lifelines, with one parent expressing gratitude for the calls, stating they had become as steady as “the wolf howling at the moon.” This sentiment beautifully encapsulates the value of connection in our lives.
Embracing the present
As evening approaches, plans to reach out to a parent again, curl up with children and a good book, and indulge in salty, vinegar-flavored chips are in place. Already, there is a sense of warmth and appreciation. Reflecting on activities that enhance one’s joy span and the simple pleasures cherished can be a vital part of life.
As individuals reflect on their existence, considering perspectives on death and what may lie beyond can shape how each chooses to live each day.
